Frustration

Kids,

I am having one of those days where I feel like I am failing as a mother.

The last few weeks have been hard for me. Casey you had an incident that you are fully ready to be over and put behind you but I on the other hand see it as something I need to worry about still.

Robby you are acting out in ways that I can not understand and do not know how to fix or control.

Abby you are still my little love, just a baby, and is acting as you should for this age. You are having tantrums, getting into everything and driving your brothers crazy.

I try to do everything. I am trying to be the best mother, teacher, cook, keeper of the nest that I can be and yet I feel like I am failing on every level.

No one ever said being a parent is easy, but no one ever told us how much work it is either.

There are days where I am so full of fear and regret every choice I have ever made with each of you. Should I have been harder on you. Should I have forced school, homework, and activities on you that you did not want. Should I have pushed you to grow up sooner and take on more challenges for yourselves.

I am having a hard day today and need time to regroup, take a few deep breaths and start again.

I love each of you so much it hurts me to think I am failing you some how, by my actions or my inaction.

Mama